well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
