im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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