Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I wear drunk well.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
