At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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