i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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