Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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