Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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