its not stalking. its research.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize