My room smells like vodka and shame
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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