does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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