I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
