they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
