It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
