If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
