Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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