The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize