Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Oh god it's open bar.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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