He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
