Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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