So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
