Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
