you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
