So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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