The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
