i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
