I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
