i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Dicks are not precious.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
