I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
