just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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