"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
