i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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