Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
i out mim tonsoeep
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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