She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just high enough for therapy.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
