I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
