he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
