Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Im part way to drunk.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
