you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
As shirtless as possible
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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