singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
