Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
