i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
