I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
MIDGETS
????
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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