the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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