My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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