Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
