Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
