Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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