Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
