How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize