they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
