Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
