remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
