I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
