Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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