and i looked up. we had an audience...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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