belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
